Hi Jacqueline. I’m sorry life is so difficult right now. I understand the ” I don’t care” part of life. I was diagnosed at age 11, in 1986, & the side-effects from my treatment and the lack of info received from the billion specialists I’ve seen shocks me, has me depressed, & makes me very angry. Are you seeing a therapist? and/or psychiatrist? I think talk therapy helps A LOT. Or try to find a local support group, however many groups deal w/ brain cancer. I’m just trying to learn coping skills now. As I learn them, I’ll share them w/ you. For now…. I listen to music a lot, talk to my 2 good friends, and am trying to focus on the good things in my life. I have a great parents, beautiful home, good friends, am not starving, etc. I’ll never have children that are biologically mine, never have been able to work full-time, hardly remember what it’s like to be healthy and to use my left arm, etc. Try to look at what you have, as difficult as it is. But I urge you to get help for your hallucinations & lack of sleep. Insomnia is dangerous. Don’t let these doctors intimidate you. Never again will I not get my questions answered. And I tell a doctor my opinion of their work. I can’t tolerate it because I’m in the anger phase. Anyway, please keep me posted.